Today while writing this, I am not sure whether I am really trying to script again some revelation-blog and trying to bring out a secluded soul right in the middle of this virtual world, this ‘Hall of Fame’ or this is just an attempt at self-discovery.
Well, “discovery” is one of the most positive words, always ends with the discoverer being very happy. Are you discovering yourself, or shall I say ‘again’ straying away? This is one of the questions once in a while, I ask myself.
Straying is generally taken as a result of one’s inability to seek help. Help from others or from what is around.” Anyways both discovering and straying in life interest me. So like many previous occasions, I am not unsure this time too so let me through these blogs join the rejoicing of knowing myself better!!!
I did write a blog long ago wherein I mentioned about my passion about just rushing out on Sunday evenings for long lonely walk, and then just straying into never known streets, never actually looking at people, yet trying to find out what they could be happy or sad about, discovering lots of things, and then straying into strange feelings and truths.
I never realized that those discovery strides now turn out to be sometimes, just petty escapades from your own house where day and night which you reside in, while you are tired of lurking among those lonesome walls, which always seem to be painted with stray thoughts, you often find yourself constantly knotted with.
Though I admit finding yourself while straying into those memory lanes is pretty tough job. Like I have, I am sure most of you also have faced many a times, the darkest nights where the mind is shrouded with fears and doubts. You are bullied by none else than your own mind, a heart consumed by loneliness. Completely abounded by light still fighting a forlorn darkness inside.
But of course life is not all about discovering through going astray only. It is coupled with battles we all are entangled into, few battles which you fought boldly and when the fight ended, you realise it has hurt you the most. Some fights took birth stealthily, heart full of mistrust, yet yearns to hope, heart entangled into certain lies, and you sometimes go too far for someone who never deserved you.
I am sure all of us have fought many sorts of battles within and out, in your life. Watching haplessly at the smoke which forms circle, and a rotting soul just turns dust just like that guiltless cigarette, kept on that cold metal tray is turning into ash!!!!